EVERY GUILD ON EVERY SERVER HAS:

I thought I’d give our fellow readers a break from the monotony of gearing guides, tanking and numbers to throw a little perspective your way. Over the years of playing on-line games, you come to realize that there are some people who are always there; their voice, name and appearance may change but they are always there. Here is a look at two of these types of people that you have certainly come across if you’ve played video games for any length of time.

The Gear Hog:

The Gear Hog

You know how when you’re in vent and someone has a question about the best way to set their video settings, and you’re trying to walk them though the process in detail, when suddenly a voice cuts across your Vent with some inane chatter that has absolutely nothing to do with your conversation?

It’s always the same person.  Mostly likely, the first thing they say when they come online is: “Guess what gear I got from my last run?” or “You should have run this instance last night that weapon you need dropped” or if you’re in vent and they are in a group/raid that you are not in they will happily tell you everything that drops, as it drops. And if you are in a group/raid that they aren’t in, as soon as they know you have finished they will ask what dropped… And even when you are in the same group/raid, they will always announce what has dropped even before the loot master has had a chance to see it.

They always want to roll on every item and always want to NEED on every item they CAN use, even if their current gear is better. Their own gear is never good enough for them, yet they are always one of the best geared members of the guild. This goes for everything from weapons to armor, trinkets to rings, pets and mounts. They say their age is 24ish but sound and act more like 14ish [and that’s most likely their real age].

They annoy the hell out of everyone in the guild, but to be fair 97% of the guild doesn’t mind, 1% hates them and 2% loves them. Let’s face it: every guild needs one, they always know where to get that trinket you need or the best way to spend your marks or emblems and are a great source of knowledge. Love them or hate them, let’s face facts: their insight to getting gear will help you DOMINATE. The Gear Hog: what would we do without them?
{on a personal note if you recognize yourself above and you know me, take solace in the fact I am of the 2% that loves you}

The Fonz:

The Fonz

So you join a guild and get into vent and everyone is cool. There’s the normal mix: the Gear Hog, the High Pitched Kid, the Fence Man, the Dudes, the Quiet Ones, Loads-o-Money, the Drama Queen, the Diva, Mr. Fix it and others. They all get on well, the banter is flying, there’s the odd cuss word but nobody moans and everyone is jolly.

That’s when the Fonz (leader of the Dudes) comes in vent. Everyone can recognize the Fonz: every other word is a cuss word, it’s all about how this [expletive] n00b got pwnd and that [expletive] ninja took this. All of a sudden the Dudes, that up until now have been well behaved, suddenly follow suit and vent is racing with cussing and badmouthing every other player on the realm. It really makes you wonder why the others put up with this? In 2 seconds flat the whole ambiance of vent has gone from being fun and at ease to being in a hooligans’ bar on the wrong side of town.

Finally, someone decides to get a Raid Group together and you are tossed an invite to a 25 man Ulduar raid with all the above mentioned players. Now you really want in on this raid – it’s the reason you joined the guild in the first place. So you decide to go, after all if they’re raiding, they will be too busy to talk their garbage. So you set off in anticipation of getting a chance to show you’re worthy of your guild invite.

You step into Ulduar, the buffs go up, the fish feast goes down and the Tactician starts to tell everyone how the fight goes, who’s tanking what and where, off tank, heals, DPS. He describes the fight in depth for those that don’t know the fight, warns what attacks and debuffs to look for. Just then, the Fonz adds his words of wisdom along the lines of: “Just f……… tank and spank, if you die, you’re a [expletive] n00b, come on lets go, can we pull now?”

The Tactician interjects with something along the lines of: “Yes, it’s alright for those of us that have done this, but let’s give everyone a chance” Kindly reminding the Fonz that not everyone has been here a million times yet.

Fonz says: “Screw that lets go, if you die don’t release, watch the fight and if you die again your a [expletive] n00b”

All the time you’re thinking: “Jeez, why do they put up with this Jerk?!?” You don’t want to say anything because you’re new to the guild, so you suffer in silence and hope that you at least get some emblems to make it worthwhile. This sounds like a wipe in the making.

Well, the raid finally gets underway and the gutter talk is still going on but the raid is going surprisingly well. You settle into your stride, working your rotation, avoiding the fire and stepping out of void zones, you check your DPS and Yeah! You’re doing your average looking good, then you notice the Fonz’s DPS is almost twice what you’re putting out and the dudes are way up there too. So you pay attention to the Fonz on screen and you finally get why everyone puts up with him: yes, he portrays himself as a bad ass dude in vent, but when you see him in game: WOW! This guy must be cheating he can’t be that l33t can he? I mean he’s obnoxious, self centered, rude, opinionated, all in all a right royal pain in the backside. Yet he is a one man army and at the end of the run, your ears are bleeding and your head is throbbing but you don’t care: your bags are full of new gear, you got emblems, you got some gold and you can’t wait for the next run.

It’s funny because 6 months down the line, he still annoys the hell out of you, but you find when it’s just the two of you in vent, he is a polite, helpful person but the second anyone else joins vent, he turns back into the Fonz.

So, despite all his bad points with him on your side, you will always Dominate

The Above article’s credit goes mostly to Anibow for original script and to Agorg/Dindrane for editing and applying structure, punctuation, grammar, syntax, the space bar and the return key to the original text. What can I say folks he’s a fighter, not a writer.

If you want to come check us out in-game you can see the necessary information to reach us here: DYS.com Guild Info.

Until next time, keep on DOMINATING.