(Law was ignorant and forgot to tell you that the following article was written by Thundernudle – you’ll have to ask her how to pronounce it :)   )

How To Peel Away From A Group To Hang With Your Guild

We’ve all had it happen to us.  You’re hanging out with friends at a party and find yourself checking your watch.  You’re scheduling a movie date with your significant other for later in the week.  You’re gauging how long beers with the coworkers will last…and factoring in traffic.

Then all eyes turn to you: “So, can you come out?”

You hem and you haw and you shuffle your feet.  How do you explain to these people that you’d love to go out, but you have a raid in 2 hours?

Explaining to non-WoW players that you have a previous engagement with a computer can be a trying task because that’s exactly how most non-gamers see it: you at home – alone – with a computer screen, and it’s beyond most of them why anyone would choose to isolate themselves with a machine as opposed to stepping into real life with real people.

Non-gamers don’t see the excitement connected with raiding or PvP and refuse to try because of the stereotypes attached to it.  I know that I’ve had my fair share of laughs and eye-rolls and disbelieving “Really?  You’re really leaving the party to play that game?” The difference between we gamers is how we handle our tormentors.

There’s always the obvious excuses: “Sorry, I’m too tired to go out” or “Sorry, I have work in the morning.” I know some people who screen their calls when they know trouble is coming near raid time, and others who don’t mention that their “previous engagement” happens to be on Ventrilo and involves killing giant fiery elementals. Still others take the blunt “I’m going to play WoW and there’s nothing you can do about it” tactic, simply taking the ensuing thrashing with calm and grace, or perhaps just a middle finger.

Personally I tend to prefer the last option because I like the game, and I’ll be darned if other peoples’ lack of understanding or unwillingness to accept the fun that is WoW will keep me from melting face every once and awhile, or even a whole lot of whiles. Still, while putting up a fight and martyring yourself for the game may be a noble cause, in the end it only makes things more difficult and less enjoyable. So what can we do to understand the stubbornness of those nay-saying noobs and what can we do to potentially alleviate the irritations and embarrassments that tend to come with the gaming territory?

Traditionally gaming has been restricted to the nerdy edges of society; it’s been limited to the pasty-faced, anti-social nerds that limit their communication to the rest of humanity with either pretentious sneering gazes through thick glasses or quiet purchases of Cheetos and Coke at the local store before scurrying back to their mother’s house.

With images such as those floating around peoples’ heads, their confusion about our choice is understandable. On top of that, non-gamers have no idea what it’s like to play a computer game, let alone a full-fledged MMO. Even in a world where computers are basically a facet of everyday life, the concept of playing games and making friends with people you’ve never seen before is confusing and borderline scary. “Playing games with strangers is weird and creepy! This must be something only nerds could understand!”

It’s A Nerd Thing?

But no!  Gaming is no longer limited to isolated nerds hiding behind stringy, unwashed hair.  MMOs like World of Warcraft are very social games where teamwork is necessary and companionship and camaraderie actually enhance the playing experience.  So how do you explain that to the normies? How do you explain that not only are you still being social by skipping out of the party early, but you’re taking part in another type of serious group event?

My favorite, and what I believe to be best method of explanation is by comparing WoW (raiding specifically, that being my largest area of practice) to a physical team sport- soccer, for example (a side note here: I say “physical” not so much because physical movement is necessary to play soccer, but to differentiate it from a computer game.  I hate making the differentiation by saying “real life” because that’s the exact kind of discrimination we’re trying to fight against; computers make the game no less “real”, they simply mean you can’t see your companions face to face).

Say you’re a member of a soccer team.  At the beginning of the season you probably agreed, with the rest of your team mates, to take part in both practices and games, probably on a weekly basis.  You show up on time and prepared to every gathering and participate to your fullest extent, and if you are unable to make it to one of the appointments, you duly let your team know that they should not expect you.  This is exactly what raiding on WoW is like: a group of people working together to accomplish a common goal while having fun.

Whether it’s to kick a silly checkered ball into a goal or kill a giant monster shouldn’t matter.  Blowing off your team mates for another “more important” event without telling them is insulting; it leaves the other people in the lurch, waiting for you to show up because you said you were going to be there.  The team is no different simply because you can’t see their faces; they’re still people waiting for you to play a game. I challenge your normie friends to find something that doesn’t have a parallel between soccer and WoW, obvious “kicking a ball vs. clicking a mouse” differences aside.

No matter how clearly you present your argument, though, don’t think this will be an easy fix.  To many non-gamers, even a logical explanation such as this one will seem like a feeble rationalization for a game addiction (which may be true for some of us).  However, there will always be a few people willing to listen and think about what you’ve pointed out…and maybe next time you’ll have one more person in your corner when you skip out a little early to meet your raid time…or at least one less person jeering and rolling their eyes.