questing world of warcraft

Ellimace And Her Problems With Pants

It’s hard to stay a nub when you’re Lawbringer’s other half.  My first experience with WoW was on his coat-tails.  And like a lot of women I spent a good majority of my time building my toons, but not in a very feminine sort of way.

You see, instead of the gorgeous Night Elves or Blood Elves, I went for the more atrocious.  Horde toons have just the right kind of funk.  Ugly hair, ugly teeth, anything with an odor.  I’m here to fight wars, not win beauty contests.

Now, I still don’t like ugly clothes.  But not in the way you might think.  I mean I love Bermuda shorts in RL, but I just won’t wear them in the game.  But I also won’t wear the black mageweave set – you can’t fight in your underwear.  Besides, certain pants make a bad butt even worse.  I know that’s a little contradictory, but hey, I’m a girl, I get to do whatever I want.

So I get the standard “SIGH” from Lawbringer from time to time when I get some piece of gear with great stats and say “ugh, I’m not wearing THAT.”  But since we run together almost 100% of the time I can just make him carry me.

Which brings me to my point in a roundabout sort of way.  Working in a group is definitely better pants.  I mean, it’s two pair – and more pants is always a good thing.  I haven’t always felt that way, however.

You see, I’m a pretty independent girl.  I don’t actually LIKE being carried.  I’ll kick my own butts and take my own names and I’ll wear whatever pants I want.  And don’t tell me any different.  So I started out on my own, playing a warrior named Superchik, a chunky Tauren who always looked bad in pants (and everything else for that matter).

I was lost.  So Law gave me a guide from someone else (Gavin’s guide was still in development) and I stomped and kicked my way to level 50.  At that point I was hooked.  I mean, if I’m going to live vicariously, forget looking good, I want to chop things into little bits and dig through the remains for loot.  Dang I like to loot, it’s like shopping for shoes, only you get to beat people up in the process.

But I realized that some things are really hard to do by yourself.  I considered playing a healer, but who wants to wand things to death when you can have an enormous axe and chop parts off?  (Really, turning one of those pretty boy elves into twitching pieces of meat is a little too satisfying).  Because I like to just haul off and crunch mobs in the head meat, I always preferred melee toons over the squishy, frilly casters.

By then Law and Gavin were in full swing testing the Horde guide and I agreed (somewhat reluctantly I might add – remember, I’m independent) to tag along as the gunei pig.  They needed a nub to run the guide through so that they could make sure someone with virtually no experience could use it.

But since there were technical issues to resolve at the same time Law was running with me.  And that’s when it happened: groups are better.  There was a time when I didn’t like running (that’s what we call it around here) with Law because he knew what we were doing, where we were going and how we were going to do it – and he did it so fast it took some of the fun out of it for me.  I felt like I was being dragged along like chum on a hook.

But now, I have a little trouble running with other nubs.  Turns out that by grouping with Law and using the guide I ceased to be a flub in bad pants somewhere along the way.  I can now decide what to vendor in less than 35 minutes.  I can solo because my skill set is so much better, but I don’t like to at all.

So now, a serious alt-aholic, I’ve tried every race and (almost) every class.  I’m not into raiding all that much, even though it’s a bigger group, it scares me that I might do something wrong and get called a nub (again).  But in reality it’s the time between pulls that drives me nuts.  I’ve gotten so used to running non-stop with Law on one of our leveling test runs that I can’t stand to stand still for more than about three seconds.

Somewhere along the way I lost the need for the husky, smelly brutality of the Tauren for something a little more slick; my Dranei shaman has caught my fancy.  She still has horns and the tail makes bad pants a little less noticeable and I can imagine not taking a bath for a while to work up a bit of a reek.  Shaman are one with the earth or some crap like that.

Anyway, short story long, A beefy tank (I think the Paladin is best) was easiest for me as a nub.  But it’s even easier if you have someone to run with.  You can’t have Law, he’s mine.  But find someone to pair up with if you can.  And together, you might just learn how to Dominate.