The Real Raid Roles
Brand new 80s in quest reward blues are just as worthless as a level 1 Orc hunter named LoknLodLol collecting Scorpid Worker Tails in the Valley of Trials. Nobody knows you, nobody likes you.
Sure, you can do 5-mans. You could spend the rest of your WoW life killing Gul’darah over and over, but the hard truth is that if you want to ever see the real content you will have to raid.
Blizzard’s site makes a great (cough) effort to introduce new players to the playable classes in the game, but there’s nothing on there about how to raid. I guess they figure you’ll just have to figure all that out for your dang self.
The class players think they are playing from levels 1-80 is not the class they actually will play when they start raiding. Once you hit the level cap, the wonderful diversity of the ten different classes disappears – and is replaced with “Tank, Heals, and DPS.”
Yes, all that leveling your way through Azeroth and Outland, running heroics, farming for mats for crafted epics, getting the right jewels, glyphs, enchants, researching talents and optimum ability rotations, will finally get you to the point where you can confidently say: “/r I can DPS.” Three to six months of effort condensed into 7 letters – 
.
Then, when you feel like you can use those seven letters, you get another whisper: “Whats your bonus spell dmg?” (Remember, nobody knows you!) When you reply 1650, you will be called a noob and go on someone’s ignore list. But don’t worry! Pester people long enough and eventually you will find a raid so desperate for people they will invite you – and subsequently blame you for everything that goes wrong. Then you, my friend, can officially call yourself a raider.
This guide is for those of you who find, or have found yourself in this situation, and will help you deal with the political aspects of raiding. Within the realms of “Tank, Heals, and DPS,” there is a completely separate level of classes. Raid Leader, Scapegoat, Latecomer, and Lootard, just to name a few. Knowing the ins and outs of these classes and how to deal with them is necessary if you ever want to set foot in Ulduar, or eventually, fight the Lich King himself.
Part 1 – The Raid Leader
We will begin with the guy who probably is the one who has you on ignore; the Raid Leader. Nine times out of ten the Raid Leader is the Main Tank (well maybe 7, but MT Raid Leaders can make 1 run feel like 2). He’s cleared 25 Naxx with 12 people at least a hundred times this week, and certainly doesn’t NEED your help, especially with your laughable spellpower. Here’s a little overview of the Raid Leader:
This is where all your research on boss fights will help. All you have to do to not be labeled a noob and kicked out by the Raid Leader is not do anything overly stupid. Fortunately for you, you will be surrounded by people doing stupid things, so as long as your stupid is not as bad as someone else’s stupid, you’ll avoid the Raid Leader’s wrath.
Stupid happens because no one takes the time to know what they should actually be trying to do. This is supposed to be the raid leaders’ job, but he’s done the fight so many times he’s tired of telling the 4,000th nub how to do it.
So, when asked to explain the boss encounter the Raid Leader will either
1) ignore the question or
2) provide an absolutely terrible explanation.
Unless you are raiding with experienced people in a raiding guild, SOMEONE will inevitably do something wrong (stupid). The Raid Leader will then pick a random player (usually one not in vent and therefore unable to defend himself) and blame the wipe on them.
To ensure that this player is not you, immediately join in the ridicule and explain the fight yourself during rezzing/corpseruns. Not only will your explanation be far better than the Raid Leader’s (even if it is stupid), the next time he picks a random player to blame the wipe on, it won’t be you.
Even though he’s a jerk, the raid leader took the initiative to tear people away from their other important duties, like:
- collecting reward-less achievements
- getting haircuts at the barbershop
- standing in front of the Dalaran bank
- the lofty debates of trade chat (philosophy, politics, and doodie jokes)
So, even if you can’t find a way to avoid his verbal abuse, don’t let it get you down. Just make sure to verbally abuse someone else more. Trust me, with all the ‘stupid’ flying around in raids, finding that person won’t be too hard.
That person is the Scapegoat, who will be the subject of Part II. Be sure to check back so you can learn a little more about how to Dominate, not get Dominated or perhaps just remind yourself why you already do.